The Answer is Simple

Got a question?

Well, maybe you don’t, but I sure do. I always have lots of questions and right now the one that’s uppermost on my mind is “How do I put up with a grouchy, fussy, stressed-out husband?”

Never mind the circumstances behind his grouchiness. It’s an on-going situation, and it’s going to keep right on going until he decides to deal with it.

OK, so I suppose he is dealing with it in his own way. Unfortunately that way involves a lot of four-letter words, a lot of shouting, and a lot of heavy stomping from one end of the house to the other, along with a lot of complaints about those people who are part of the problem and who are causing him so much frustration. What I seriously don’t understand is why our parrot has never picked up the obscenities and squawked them back.

Oh, well. Be thankful for little things, right?

Now, let’s return to my search for simple answers. Everyone is always searching for simple answers, right? Actually, my search is over. I’ve found all the answers. Yes, the simple ones.

I don’t recall where I first found out about these simple answers, but I ultimately found the answers themselves on Amazon. Yep. Amazon. All the simple answers you’ll ever need for $12.76 plus shipping and handling.

OK, so by now, you’ve figured out that I’m not really talking about intangible, thoughtful, logical, rational answers to questions. Why would you have thought I was? Never mind.

I’m talking, of course, about “oracle cards” — the quick and easy way to get a simple answer to any question.

The Answer is Simple Oracle Cards

Yesterday, as the turmoil first began for hubby, I suggested he come into MLWR (My Little Writing Room) to search for an answer. I handed him the cards. He drew one.

The answer was simple, indeed. “Just say NO.” Which is what he should have done. He needs to say NO — in a loud voice — to all the people who put expectations upon him, to all the friends and family who count on him to do things whenever they need help, to all those who expect him to always be there when they want something.

When I showed him the answer — the SIMPLE answer — he was appalled. He couldn’t possibly say NO to the people involved. It was out of the question.

Next, I read through the guidance given for the “Just Say NO” card, looking for helpful, encouraging advice. I found it. It spoke of saying NO to toxic situations, saying NO to situations that cause unnecessary stress. It spoke eloquently of choices. That’s what it’s really all about, you know.

Choices. We have them. We make them. We live with the results of them.

Of course, if you’re like my husband, you make the choices for all the wrong reasons, then bitch and complain about the results.

Yesterday, he made what he felt was the right choice. Say YES to the people asking for help, and NO to the feelings of guilt he’d endure if he didn’t step up to help. A good choice in some ways, maybe, but maybe he was missing the point a bit. Maybe “Just Say NO” really meant “Just Say NO.”

So today, he’s been ranting and raving, cursing and stomping from the moment he got out of bed. The situation has worsened, he’s feeling more pressured than ever, and needless to say, I’m in the path of the storm.

How should I deal with him? Should I talk to him? Remind him he should have said NO yesterday? Ignore him? Sit here and keep typing while he’s fussing and fuming?

Hey, I have an idea! Why don’t I draw an oracle card and find a simple answer for myself?

What is my simple answer?

 SEEK AN EXPERT.

Not exactly the answer I wanted, but I suspect that most of the time we fail to see the simple solutions to our problems precisely because they’re not what we want.

I should find an adviser, a counselor, someone trained in how to deal with grouchy, fussy, stressed-out husbands who can’t see that they’re the source of their own problems.

Sometimes, folks, yes, we do need to seek expert help, and sometimes, we really do need to say “NO”.   Maybe the wisdom lies in knowing when to do each.

As often as not, life really can be simple, if we’ll just get out of the way and stop complicating things.

***

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